Weekend 4 - Ellenton, FL
Chili Dog has a girlfriend now, which is indeed a concern. Now, I can't just go to his room and knock real loud to wake his pasty ass up cause he's over her house. I also can't call him because...here let me call him right now..."Hey, you know who you've reached, leave me a message and I'll get back to you". What a toolshed.
Ellenton, part II, was a unique trip. After eventually rounding Will up, we BOLTED across the glades and got there in about two and a half hours - a new record.
Our first game was a rematch of sorts against FIU. These guys beat us 4-2 last time we faced them and we NEEDED to win the first two games. FIU proved to be filthy, and we got to try out our brand spanking new diamond power play formation. Falce, Alex, and Chili with yours truly right in the goalies face. We got to a nice lead in the first period due to some stellar screenage and accurate shooting. Alex notched 4 goals. The U wins, 8-3.
During the break, we got a chance to meet the newest member of our team, a guy named Mike Ruble, a UCF transfer. His dad is the UCF head coach, but more on this later. Chili wasn't ready to "use him" yet because our next game was against Embry Riddle and that his services were unnecessary. Will is such a blumpkin.
Nevertheless, he was right about one thing: The Aeronautical Eagles. We blew that team out of the water 20-0. The refs have completely done away with the 2nd assist. I got one on the first goal and looked the Ref of Death (piercings, tattoos, skulls) in the face and he was having none of it. What a fucking hater. This might've been the game where Andrew broke his skates so he assumed the coaching position (standing on bench w/ one foot, the other foot on the boards, hand in lower facial region, thinking and pondering, leaning on the bent knee, barking out shift changes) for the rest of the weekend, give or take. I got a breakaway goal through the goalies five hole and another goal that should've been awarded to me had we been assigned a ref that wasn't a skullfucking hater. I've lost all hope in statistics. Falce hasn't. He, Chili, and Hartman accounted for 14 of the team's 20 goals. J-Sizzle lit the lamp as well. Munter recorded his first career shutout, which we as a team were proud of. Mike proved to be a real solid player as well, so things were looking up.
UCF we knew was going to be a different animal. Alex got a goal but that was it for Miami. The U would like to forget this game, a 15-1 slaughterfest.
We found a condominium/hotel that was about 15 minutes from the rink, and about 10 minutes from my condo on Longboat Key. Had it been vacant that week I would've brought some peeps there. But this place was Flader's crowning moment as a hotel booker. Sure, we were a good drive away from the J.P. Nigloo but these babies had a master bedroom w/ a king bed, another bedroom w/ 2 twin beds, washer/dryer, fridge/freezer, microwave/toaster, oven, stove, couches, tv, walk-in closet, two bathrooms, porch, plates, glasses, pool, hot tub, tennis courts, and probably something else I'm leaving out. We got two of these units, so we were set. Luciano and I cooked our own pizzas. Mine was DiGiorno and his was something generic and his pepperoni was so much better. Digiorno is such a crock.
For our 8AM game we played a team named Michigan State. Why another D1 team needs to come this far just to put a hurting on Florida schools baffles me. It should be illegal. Where's Ed Luther when you need him. Before the game Mr. Ruble comes in and says in essence that our team sucks and that he'd be willing to coach it. His prediction? That they'll ream us in the ass with a sandpaper dildo minus lube. But this game we're going to play man on man and learn something. Then, it's time to take the ice/court/floor against the number 2 D1 team in the country. We played pretty damn well against them in the first period. Then the floodgates opened. 'State won by a score of 16-2. I'm proud of the "2", because George and I hooked up for that second goal, making that goalie act a fool. Hey, UCF scored 2 against them too.
We met Adopted Coach Ruble again as a team at a New England Patriot decked Applebees, where he reiterated how much we sucked in kind, kindergarten terms and that we were lucky to have such a great goalie. Don't get me wrong, I know we suck at lots of things, it's just funny to hear this guy try to tell us that. Time to leave for our fifth and last game against UCF B.
UCF B was a 12-2 loss and the only thing I remember from this game is George's inability to stay with his man. George couldn't play man-to-man coverage on Donna Shalala. I routinely caught him wandering. Other than this, and post game wrap up, we were swamp-bound.
Dom is one real fast driver. Alex, Pringle, Munter, and I tried to catch up to his car so we could throw a Wendy's cheeseburger on it but the guy reached felon speeds and booked it. Pats won their game against the Steelers, and went on to win the Superbowl. Woooo!
Ellenton, part II, was a unique trip. After eventually rounding Will up, we BOLTED across the glades and got there in about two and a half hours - a new record.
Our first game was a rematch of sorts against FIU. These guys beat us 4-2 last time we faced them and we NEEDED to win the first two games. FIU proved to be filthy, and we got to try out our brand spanking new diamond power play formation. Falce, Alex, and Chili with yours truly right in the goalies face. We got to a nice lead in the first period due to some stellar screenage and accurate shooting. Alex notched 4 goals. The U wins, 8-3.
During the break, we got a chance to meet the newest member of our team, a guy named Mike Ruble, a UCF transfer. His dad is the UCF head coach, but more on this later. Chili wasn't ready to "use him" yet because our next game was against Embry Riddle and that his services were unnecessary. Will is such a blumpkin.
Nevertheless, he was right about one thing: The Aeronautical Eagles. We blew that team out of the water 20-0. The refs have completely done away with the 2nd assist. I got one on the first goal and looked the Ref of Death (piercings, tattoos, skulls) in the face and he was having none of it. What a fucking hater. This might've been the game where Andrew broke his skates so he assumed the coaching position (standing on bench w/ one foot, the other foot on the boards, hand in lower facial region, thinking and pondering, leaning on the bent knee, barking out shift changes) for the rest of the weekend, give or take. I got a breakaway goal through the goalies five hole and another goal that should've been awarded to me had we been assigned a ref that wasn't a skullfucking hater. I've lost all hope in statistics. Falce hasn't. He, Chili, and Hartman accounted for 14 of the team's 20 goals. J-Sizzle lit the lamp as well. Munter recorded his first career shutout, which we as a team were proud of. Mike proved to be a real solid player as well, so things were looking up.
UCF we knew was going to be a different animal. Alex got a goal but that was it for Miami. The U would like to forget this game, a 15-1 slaughterfest.
We found a condominium/hotel that was about 15 minutes from the rink, and about 10 minutes from my condo on Longboat Key. Had it been vacant that week I would've brought some peeps there. But this place was Flader's crowning moment as a hotel booker. Sure, we were a good drive away from the J.P. Nigloo but these babies had a master bedroom w/ a king bed, another bedroom w/ 2 twin beds, washer/dryer, fridge/freezer, microwave/toaster, oven, stove, couches, tv, walk-in closet, two bathrooms, porch, plates, glasses, pool, hot tub, tennis courts, and probably something else I'm leaving out. We got two of these units, so we were set. Luciano and I cooked our own pizzas. Mine was DiGiorno and his was something generic and his pepperoni was so much better. Digiorno is such a crock.
For our 8AM game we played a team named Michigan State. Why another D1 team needs to come this far just to put a hurting on Florida schools baffles me. It should be illegal. Where's Ed Luther when you need him. Before the game Mr. Ruble comes in and says in essence that our team sucks and that he'd be willing to coach it. His prediction? That they'll ream us in the ass with a sandpaper dildo minus lube. But this game we're going to play man on man and learn something. Then, it's time to take the ice/court/floor against the number 2 D1 team in the country. We played pretty damn well against them in the first period. Then the floodgates opened. 'State won by a score of 16-2. I'm proud of the "2", because George and I hooked up for that second goal, making that goalie act a fool. Hey, UCF scored 2 against them too.
We met Adopted Coach Ruble again as a team at a New England Patriot decked Applebees, where he reiterated how much we sucked in kind, kindergarten terms and that we were lucky to have such a great goalie. Don't get me wrong, I know we suck at lots of things, it's just funny to hear this guy try to tell us that. Time to leave for our fifth and last game against UCF B.
UCF B was a 12-2 loss and the only thing I remember from this game is George's inability to stay with his man. George couldn't play man-to-man coverage on Donna Shalala. I routinely caught him wandering. Other than this, and post game wrap up, we were swamp-bound.
Dom is one real fast driver. Alex, Pringle, Munter, and I tried to catch up to his car so we could throw a Wendy's cheeseburger on it but the guy reached felon speeds and booked it. Pats won their game against the Steelers, and went on to win the Superbowl. Woooo!
posted by Eric at 1/27/2005 04:05:00 PM
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